29/1/14, 292 notes

whimsicdoctor13:

algrenion:

chel-the-fabulous-asstec:

lalondes:

kevinprices:

lalondes:

if you sold all your eggs you would make $3.2 billion

your uterus is worth $3.2 billion

#and a nutsack is worth like $25 and half a pb&j

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS MEANS EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A PERIOD YOU LOSE $8,000???????????? TERRIBLE

Maybe that’s why we get so emotional

#this is it #we cracked it #the secret of periods

did you just make an egg pun

(via nightowl20)

29/1/14, 535779 notes
21/1/14, 6057 notes
21/1/14, 428100 notes

trappedinadiamond:

so I’m at a gas station getting RED BULL AND THE GUY INFRONT OF ME IS TRYING TO GET CONDOMS AND HIS CARD GOT FUCKING DECLINED AND THIS LITTLE OLD WOMAN BEHIND ME WHISPEREd “he just got cock blocked by visa” I FUCKING SHAT MYSELF

(Source: cosmic-cannabis, via nayariveracometome)

21/1/14, 323464 notes
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7/1/14, 306035 notes
"Don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." (via stay-ocean-minded)

(Source: capecodcollegiate, via aperfectdisasterr)

7/1/14, 286976 notes
Anonymous: Do you personally know a guy named nick


Nick is a common name.

4/1/14, 0 notes

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